...
Things to change:
- Add context to characters
- Stabilisation of shaky footage + re-shoot scenes of TV with tripod
- Straighten framing of TV (accidental dutch)
- Frame shots over graveyard with a high angle to avoid seeing the houses behind
- Costume
- Smarter
- Funeral-ish
- Simon
- White Shirt
- Suit trousers
- Orange trainers
- Scarf
- Bring flowers to grave
- Take additional footage of stairs on different locations + edit so hop between each
- Edit entrance to bedroom so it is more obvious what they are about to do
- Make it more visible the push onto the bed
- Reshoot stair scene - lighting + blurry
- Reshoot kitchen
- Add kitchen clutter
- Framing
- Rule of thirds
- More food
- Lighting
- Change outfits
- Different colors
- Remove chairs (only 2)
- different drink to water
- Color
- Different colour jackets
- Not just black
- Argument scene
- He grabs her
- Looks ashamed
- she leaves
- tightens i on arm grab
- Slap
- Add tightly framed close up
- Slow-mo
- More vignettes
- Some physical intimacy
- "Skin on skin" lyric
- Her checking his phone
- Walk through park
1: add basic context: who are the 2 characters?
ReplyDelete2: lot of shakiness, as you've noted (not such an issue for tracking)
3: houses behind graveyard - better to have avoided within frame; consider transforming
4: stairs coliur mismatch, could be made a virtue of with more stairs shots, a bit of surrealism
5: useful to consider (lack of) male gaze - you haven't avoided female body, but you've swerved very obvious opportunities to (ab)use this (stairs good eg)
6: the cropped bedroom take as shown doesn't anchor your preferred reading...
7: v blurry takes there
8: accidental dutch? (TV)
9: you'll need to use Motion to map the TV image onto the TV screen. http://mediatechtips.blogspot.com/2018/01/greenscreen-layers-in-moving-shots.html
10: colour correction in kitchen? OR just leave a good gap between v diff coloured parts in vid
11: kitchen framing needed better observance of rule of thirds, unless trying to signify a specific absence (eg in the empty chair)
12: clearer costume change (ie, more colour changes) would help
13: filming some slo-mo - especially arguments - could have been useful
14: flowers in her hand at grave would be useful
15: overall, more vignesttes would make editing easier